– What is so great about being a vinyl record that makes people want to listen to you still?”
– I guess it’s because I’m vintage.
– Yeah, it’s like an old thing that is appreciated for its quality and character.
– That describes the tape cassette! I’m vintage!
– No, you’re not.
– What am I then?
– You’re obsolete.
– I’m obsolete?
– Hey, hey, hey, there, there. You know I was once obsolete?
– You were?
– I was.
– Well how did you become vintage?
– They’re people who think old stuff is cool and fashionable.
– What do they think about new stuff?
– They think it’s too mainstream.
– What about vinyl records do hipsters like?
– The vinyl. The record player. The needle drop. The spinning. The album covers. The…
– Alright, I get it. Be honest, is there a chance hipsters might like me?
– Completely honest?
– You’re like lead paint, man. Or asbestos. Like if they find it, they have to get rid of it.
– That all?
– You don’t look cool. You’re plastic. You take forever to rewind. You…
– Can stop now.
– Sometimes you just get on a roll and…
– I get it. This is all the compact disc’s fault.
– If it makes you feel any better, I’m pretty sure the compact disc is never going to be vintage either.
– That’s comforting at least.