Santa Gets All the Credit

santa gets all the creditTwo children, a boy and a girl, devour gift wrap with their hands as they unearth their presents from their papery prisons on Christmas Day.  Mother and father watch in awe at how quickly a process that takes time and care can be undone so savagely.

“Yes! I can’t believe I got the new video game console that is very expensive!”

The boy starts doing a dance.

“No way!  I got the tablet that is also very expensive!”

The girl starts doing a dance.

“Thank goodness for Santa!  Otherwise our presents would have sucked!”

“Duh!  Mom, Dad the best you could get us was socks and a few books?”

“Our presents would have suuuuuuucked!”

The boy and girl laugh together.

“Santa!  Santa!  Santa!  Santa!”

While the children dance and chant “Santa” in unison, the mother and father have a moment to talk amongst themselves.

“Santa gets all the credit.  Why do we let Santa give the best presents?  Why can’t we give them the tablet and game console and let Santa give the socks?”

“Honey, it’s Christmas tradition.  It’s the way it’s always been.”

“Well, I don’t like being told that our presents suck.”

The children stop chanting “Santa” and come back over to mother and father holding their socks.

“Mom, guess what we decided to call these!”

“Tell us!”

“We call them ‘sucks.’  Get it?”

“Honey, tell them.”

“Santa is not real.”

“Santa’s not real?”

“There’s no North Pole.  Your father and I bought the tablet, the game console, and everything else.”

“Who ate the cookies then?”

“I ate the cookies.”

The girl starts to cry.

“So elves didn’t make my presents then?”

The girl cries even more intensely.

“You’ve been telling me Santa might put me on the Naughty list all year, and it was just a lie?  Do you have any idea how much stress I was under because I thought I could end up on the Naughty list?  Do you?!”

The boy starts to cry.

While the children cry in unison, the mother and father have a moment to talk amongst themselves.

“What have we done?”


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