A Scientist’s Revenge

Entrepreneurs, innovators, and artists each work to invent something that previously did not exist.  Upon doing so, they have the opportunity to name that thing.  The name they choose may be their own.  They can be remembered long after their lifetime.  But I think there are just some things that it would be far better not to carry your own name.

A Scientist’s Revenge

A man sits at a lab bench.  He carefully pours a red liquid into a beaker.  He then takes an eye dropper full of blue liquid and adds two drops into the same beaker.  Immediately, intense brightness fills the room.  It fades.  Another gentleman runs into the room.

“Did I think what just happened really happen?”

“Yes.”

“Do you realize what this means?”

“I don’t know if it has quite sank in yet.”

“You just discovered a new disease!”

“I did.  I can’t believe it.”

“You’ll be up for the Nobel.  You’ll be famous.  Everyone will know your name.”

“Know my name?  Why is that?”

“Well surely the disease will be named after you!”

“I don’t think so.”

“What?”

“Name a disease that causes a lot of pain and suffering for people after me?”

“If you put it that way…what will you call it then?”

“Roy Baxter’s disease.”

“How did you arrive at that?”

“Roy Baxter is literally one of the worst people I know.  Huge tool.  Classic high school jerk.  I think it’s only fitting to name something like this after him.  Scientist’s should have started taking revenge like this long ago.”

“I see your point, but you are losing out on the opportunity of fame.”

“No, I’m not.”

“How so?”

“What you don’t know is that I simultaneously discovered a cure for Roy Baxter’s disease.”

“You did?”

“I did.”

“What will the name of the cure be then?”

“Arthur Collins’ antidote.”

“That’s your name.”

“Precisely.  Everyone everywhere will be saying how Arthur Collins kicked Roy Baxter’s ass.”

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